As we sit here five days away from Memorial day I’ve been reflecting on my time spent in Afghanistan and some of the friends who aren’t here anymore. I started remember small details that start sticking out to me as clear in my mind as they ever were. I once sat under a canopy of camo netting surrounded by Hesco barrier (big baskets filled with dirt to stop bullets) waiting for our little outpost to get shot at for the third time that day in the heat of August just bullshitting with my brothers about what we would eat when we got back or the terrible things I can’t mention that we would do to get our hands on a Klondike bar. I looked up through the camo net as I lie on a makeshift bench in my IOTV (now just a glorified plate carrier to hopefully stop bullets) with my helmet right at my side ready at the first sound of contact to get to our defensive positions , and I had one clear thought that I can still remember ” God what I wouldn’t do to just be able to lie out in the sun and just soak it up and maybe even take a nap”. Through everything I deal with everyday I’ve decided to embrace that thought and pursue that very activity. Lying back on a lawn chair I look out at the forest that stretches out before me as the wind whips some wind chimes hanging up back and forth.
It gives me time to look back and appreciate being able to just sit here and relax and take in the experience , the sensation of the wind blowing against my skin the birds I can hear in the trees , and the smell of the lilac bush. Taking it all in just living in that moment I can stop thinking about the things that were the places I’ve been and the friends I’ve lost and just exist in that moment. Life is full of these opportunities these instances where we can put everything in our heads aside drop all that baggage and just embrace the fact that you’re here and you’re alive. Go out and take advantage of these opportunities go out and use them. It can provide a great deal of grounding or at least it kind of has for me.
In the end sometimes it’s the little things. The passing thoughts the plans you had in your head with what you wanted to do when you get back that can bring you closer to those we didn’t bring back or what you might feel like you left behind there.