This is my everyday

I start each morning with some quiet time looking through news and catching up on what’s happening. This morning when I logged onto my Facebook to check the various Veterans groups I am a member of and see what’s new with the guys I was met with this post.

Calling all Blue Spaders! A fellow brother is in need of some support and guidance. Show our brother some love in his time of need. All of our paths are different after war, but we don’t have to walk it alone. No matter how dark the road gets your brother has a chem light! I love you brother!

(to clear up what you might be wondering about , a Blue Spader or simply Spader is a member of the 26th Infantry Regiment “The Blue Spaders”)


What followed was the original poster putting up information about a member of the group who was having a difficult time and had shown some signs of potentially thinking about suicide, which was then preceded by approximately 100 further posts from other members of the group sharing information about where he lives what his phone number was and seeing who was in the immediate area who could go help as well as status updates from the original poster who had called the local police department to do a health and safety check and track him down. The end result was the former Spader was found by the local police and escorted home to sober up after they were as sure as they could be he wasn’t immediately at risk of committing suicide.

For some people they may deal with a particular instance of drama or emergency  playing out similar to this once in a very great while. For myself and a lot of Veterans out there who are members of Veterans communities this isn’t uncommon at all. In fact I don’t think more than a couple days goes by without a situation like this playing out inside one of the groups I am a part of. For me this is my everyday. Every time I log in to Facebook I have a brief moment of pause as the page loads where I live out an infinite string of possibilities that I hope not to see in my alerts.

Tomorrow morning I will take my cup of coffee and sit down in front of the screen again and wait for that inevitable moment of fear as I load up the pages of these groups. For me this is my everyday.

One thought on “This is my everyday

  1. I lost 3 Airmen in 22 years to suicide. None of them ever showed outward signs. I wrecks me every time I think about them. “Did I see any signs?” “Could I have stopped them?”. My answer is always no… I just wish I could believe myself when I answer those questions.

    I still watch, and talk all that I can, just like I did. Maybe I’ve saved more than I’ve lost. Or maybe just one… That would be enough.

    Thank you for all you’re doing.

    SMSgt Reu (Ret), out.


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